First off, super excited and honored that Hilary from Dean Street Society invited me to be a part of her Happy Hour Blog Tour to s celebrate her new book launch “The 4-Part Entrepreneur Cocktail”. Imagine, 30 women bloggers & entrepreneurs, 30 days of sharing, celebrating Hilary’s book by chatting about their personal experiences, recipes for success, strengths, struggles and more over cocktails from around the globe.
Yesterday, Erin spoke about motivation from her blog “Living In Yellow” and what keeps her going. I loved how she shared the tipping point when her blog become more than a place to just show up, it was a place to “show up and make much of. “
Not just showing up.
But showing up for yourself
In a way that puts YOU FIRST.
How do you show up for yourself everyday?
My recipe for success calls for part courage and part strength of heart.
As a possibility coach, I help people out of grief and into examining possibilities. My philosophy is that grief and loss is not about death and dying, but also all of life’s disappointments that when left unresolved, becomes patterns of self-sabotage and limiting beliefs. Strengths come into play when we begin to unravel what’s keeping us stuck, both in our personal and professional life.
Each time we are able to bring healing to the places that hurts, vs. sweeping it under a rug when we find time to “get to it”, we strengthen our heart, and our ability to move through challenging times without creating a “story” around our hurts to protect ourselves.
Today, I am going to share three practical ways to strengthen and fortify your heart + soul when you or your business is feeling not so sparkly, followed by strength tips to flex that LOVE muscle.
1) You are not your disappointments or mistakes you have made. Everyone makes mistakes. We’ve heard stories of entrepreneurs failing at one business only to make it huge with their next endeavor. The slippery slope occurs when we end up identifying ourselves by our mistakes. We judge, internalize, playing the “not good enough” loop in our heads.
STRENGTH TIP: Instead of focusing on mistakes, validate the good. Repeat after me; I matter. I am enough. I am supported. Next, take out a piece of paper and make a list of ten things you feel good about what you’ve accomplished to date. Validate how far you’ve come. And then if you are still feeling like part of the lonely heart club, reach out to one person you trust for love and support. Know that every time you blog, write an article, take a step out in sharing your message with the world—you may not receive feedback right away, but you don’t know how many people you affect. Your voice matters. And you touch more hearts than you will ever know. Validation is part of strengthening the muscle of self-love.
2) Let go of expectations of what all the “shoulds” and let your heart do the talking. As an entrepreneur, I often look up to other successful entrepreneurs and my heart goes “squeeeee” when I read about their wins. Their wins inspires me as I move forward in my own business. I tell my “alter-ego” to go away when the “shoulds” appear. I “should” be farther along, launching programs, blogging more, etc. With 6 weeks left in the year, I look over my list of to-do’s from 2013 and remind myself that the goals I set are here to help me stay accountable, and that’s all. It is not a list to begin judging myself as a “failure” for not meeting it. In fact, some of my list has become obsolete since it was first written.
STRENGTH TIP: If your heart feels heavy, let it go. No matter where you are in your business or life, do a review and see if any of the goals you’ve set in 2013 still resonates. Life is about ebb and flow, not rigidity. Letting go of something that may not be working anymore is not a failure. It is not a loss.
Letting go takes courage and yet, there is so much freedom and wisdom to be gained from recognizing if something is no longer serving your soul.
As Erin had shared on her blog yesterday, “the joy is in the doing!” So check in with your heart. If it feels heavy, let it go.
3) Life is not a project. It is not about getting everything done on your to-do list. It is not about achieving everything on a goal line. Sometimes when we want it all NOW, it can get overwhelming. On a day when you may be questioning yourself or your business, take a step back.
STRENGTH TIP: Instead of worrying about the past or the future, Do the next thing in front of you. Don’t try and look at the whole enchilada and the “HOW’s” for now. Break your to-do’s into bite sized portions. Then go play. Stressing and worrying over the takes us away from being present to what is, the journey. Possibilities open up when our hearts are not burdened. Do everything from a place of love. Practice being mindful. Slow down. Savor a moment. Notice the details. Be of service.
When I begin my day with love, even on the days I have a sad face, I continue to see possibilities. I’d love to hear from you below ways in which you are showing up for yourself, and your recipe for success.