The ending of a relationship, whether with a romantic partner, a job, a home, a loved one, an animal companion are all considered losses. We are faced with two basic options. Grief and move through whatever we are feeling, or bury the feelings for a later time.
If we commit to moving through grief, the next step is to get out of our own way. Things are likely to get stirred up in all aspects of our life. Grief can’t be sliced up neatly like a pie. Change is inevitable in all areas physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
Change can also be positive. You may find friends and family who are more supportive than ever.
You are taking more time out for yourself during your grieving process. You are more in touch with your emotions.
Conversely, you may be angry, stressed out, feeling alone, not getting the support you need, your life feels suddenly out of control.
If this sounds familiar, here are four key things you can do for yourself, if nothing else. Call it the 4 pillars of managing grief.
*Address your emotions: What is making you angry, stressed out, sad or any other feelings you may have? Take some moments to write it down. If you gave these feelings a voice, what would it say? Be honest. Your emotions are out of balance. It is likely your body temple is also out of alignment.
*Redirect your grief: Next, write down what you can do to bring your body back into balance. Yoga? Meditation? Take a walk perhaps? What did you enjoy doing before you were overcome with grief? Gardening, talking to a friend on the phone? Do something that brings you JOY.
Get up and do something physical for 30 minutes to move the chi around. Studies have shown it helps with depression. You will feel better if you can get out of head and get endorphins pumping.
*Nutrition: Grief depletes the body of minerals and nutrients via the tears we shed, the emotions we hold. Eat. Eat breakfast. Even if you are not hungry, have a piece of toast, yogurt, or some fruit. Snack throughout the day if you find yourself not hungry. Put post-it notes as reminders throughout places you re-visit during the day. You need nourishment for healing. Drink plenty of water during the day.
In my last post, I wrote about how April is a big month for me with grief. I am on day 7 of a 30 day meditation and tantra practice to help let go and move through some of my re-occuring grief. I am drinking a concoction of lemon, ginger and cayenne pepper with hot water in the morning to assist with digestion, as it is where my grief likes to sit. I walk a minimum of 30 minutes a day with my beloved animal companions. It helps me to walk the talk as I continue in my practice. It anchors in that while grief is present, it is moving through me. For those who are grieving, won’t you join me in putting your care first?