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Getting on with the business of LIVING! An invitation to life after loss.

  • Posted by: claire

A life changing experience.  One that has you suck in a deep breath, maybe causing life events to pass before your very eyes, and definitely changing forever who you were yesterday.  

Today, you wake, holding those you love closer, everything feels more vibrant.

How can we capture the essence of this very experience

and not have it dulled by everyday chores, the must do’s that can easily be all consuming?

 

I was reminded by this article by the New York Times about the Top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed. Here is the list. You can read the article here. 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Today, in getting on with the business of living, I extend an invitation. (I’ve channeled my dogs and my 5 year old daughter as my inspiration behind my list, as they continually teach me to live and love more fully.)

Below is my response to the 5 things. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest.

 

5 ways to incorporate more LIVING in your daily life.

1. Build a daily practice. Build in something to anchor your beliefs. Being true to yourself takes quieting the “not good enough voice”. When we are in our center, we do not question our decisions. What is important bubbles up to the top naturally, vs. what you “have to do”.

2. Money is just an exchange of energy. Don’t let it own you. Bring love consciousness to your relationship with money versus lack. I love this quote by Zig Zaglar. “Money will buy you a bed, but not a good night’s sleep, a house but not a home, a companion but not a friend.” I want to add to the mix, a pet but not an endless supply of unconditional love.

3. Stop being a peacekeeper. I know sometimes, I notice tend to people please to keep the peace. Especially with family. Practice saying no. Stand in the mirror and practice saying something you are afraid to voice.  Try not to judge what you are saying. My 2 dogs, Shanti and Lulu sometimes have a tussle. They don’t try to keep the peace. It’s out, an then back to business as usual. They don’t hold a grudge either.

4. Make it important. When my daughter wants to set up a play date, it is at the forefront of her mind. It is muy importante! She will ask “Mommie, can I have a playdate today, can she come over NOW?” It’s never next week. It’s always NOW. 😉  So my advice, SCHEDULE it in. Set an alarm on your Iphone, smartphone, write it in your calendar to reach out to one friend a day. It’s THAT easy.

5. Have some FUN everyday. Laugh. Giggle. Silliness. Pick a fun thing for you to do that is FREE. (I love giving and receiving hugs! From my dogs, my love bug Kayman, multiple times a day)

MY INVITATION

Join me in trying this out for a day, a week, , a month. Commit to doing one thing on this list a day. Or perhaps all 5. What you do is up to you. Will you post your experience below?

If you have experienced the loss of a loved one, what keeps you motivated to get on with the business of life?

As always, I am so grateful you’ve taken a moment of your day to visit with me. If you know someone who is grieving, I would love to support them through their journey. Click here to find out more.

xoxo

Claire

PS- If you are or know of someone going through anticipatory pet loss/pet loss, we were featured in an article by Embrace Pet Insurance filled with practical tools and tips on getting on with the business of life for pet owners. Click here to read.

 

Author: claire

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11 Comments

  • I loved this, Claire! After I lost someone I love it created a huge shift in my life. I started to think about what would happen if I was to die tomorrow. Would I be happy with the life I’ve lived or would I wish there was more? I made a conscious decision for all those, “I wish there was more” things to get taken care of. Every day I seem to become more of who I truly am and am recognizing that I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to live the most fulfilling life possible. Thank you 🙂

    • Claire

      You are so welcome! Do you make a bucket list for your “things” to take care of? I call mine the reverse bucket–:-)
      I love who you are and all the light you bring. THank you for visiting!

  • Claire these are brilliant tips and a wonderful way to focus our intention on not only surviving but also THRIVING while we’re here! Thank you so much for these reminders – I’m going to go have some FUN now 🙂

  • Excellent support for those suffering from loss of a loved one! Tragic loss can most often be truly understood by those who have been there. Sometimes even when there was no death, divorce can result in a loss in relationship with children. This is another situation best understood by those who have been there.

    • Claire

      Yes, I completely agree. There are over 40 losses in the grief index and you spoke to 3 in a few sentences. Divorce affects everyone in the family. I know first hand how it can affect even the smallest children. It is my hope that if we approach it from a point of view where the foundation is love vs. fear, it will bring comfort to the most difficult of situations.

  • Great tips here! I especially LOVE #2.
    I’m building this fansatic new biz, lifestyle etc…with releasing lots of old patterns and habits, sometimes it feels like my old self dying (although not dying but evolving) – embrace the experience + allow more love coming in certainly helps!
    thank for for this wonderful post!
    Yiye

    • Claire

      Dear Yiye,
      thank you for stopping by. I love that you are embracing your life’s passion and all that comes with it. Yes, it can sometimes feel like a death, shedding parts of our old self that no longer serves us. Light to you!!

  • Fantastic post that speaks right to my core beliefs. I’ve experienced the tragic and unexpected loss of three family members within 6 months of each other. Needless to say that was a very tough year, but as you mentioned is often the case, it woke me up. There is great wisdom within the grieving and healing journeys. For me, the experience has brought the preciousness of life into clear focus. Allowing time and asking for support were two key factors in embracing life after loss, in addition to the daily practices you mentioned. I love the work you are doing and appreciate this post.

    • Claire

      Oh Jen, I really hear what a journey you have been on. I appreciate you being here. You are the reason I do what I do. xo

  • Claire,

    Thanks for the reminders of priorities and how to move on. My grandmother passed away two years ago right as my marriage was also crumbling. It has been hard to move on from both. I actually use her memory and example as inspiration for overcoming the challenges of divorce and co-parenting.

    Thanks for this!

    • Claire

      Ryan,
      thanks for stopping by and your beautiful share. I love that your grandmother continues to be a source of love and inspiration for you as you navigate rebuilding and co-parenting. I know my daughter never had a chance to “meet” my mom, and love that she is “here” with us often in this other special way.