Today, I want to speak to my alter ego that’s been crowding my space. I call her Tough Tammy. Tough Tammy is type A and a go-getter. She is all about making it happen. Especially when she is grieving, she likes to keep busy. It helps her keep the lid on her emotions. I wrote this love note to her, and the bit of Tough Tammy that may be in each of us.
You are so kind, loving, caring.
You hear this from others.
But sometimes you have a hard time drinking it in.
You put others before you, giving, validating.
You intellectually know your worthiness, your power.
But when it comes to affairs of the heart, you sometimes put yourself in the back of the line.
Who dimmed your light?
Stop submerging yourself in the bustle of work, life and things.
Outwardly, you look fine.
Inside, there are judgments, unresolved hurts, perhaps even anger.
Waiting to be unearthed.
How much time has to pass before you finally get to live life for YOU?
It’s time to step to the front of the line.
What does stepping in front of the line means for Tough Tammy?
Self-care. Putting herself first.
Not bypassing her emotions.
When she FEELS IT, she can HEAL IT.
It means stop doing for others and put the focus back on herself. Below are some self-care tips I wrote for her.
10 practical self-care tips on FEEL IT SO YOU CAN HEAL IT!
-Acknowledge any and all feelings that may be present; the anger, sadness, pain.
-Give yourself permission to express it (Some creative ways: throw eggs against a wall outside, then hose it off. Create a safe space outside, break some plates. Yell. Scream. Jump up and down.)
-Tell the truth. Chances are, there is some negative thoughts running around. Give it room to move through. Journal. Cry. Yell. Write it all down and get it all out.
-Stop the to-do list. Do only absolutely what is necessary, then insert something nurturing and fun if you are up to it.
-Leave the dishes in the sink. Don’t get caught up in mindless busywork like laundry or deleting junk e-mails.
-Stay present to WHAT IT IS you are feeling.
-Weather permitting, get outside into nature. Being with nature is grounding. (when we are grieving, we can feel scattered)
-Stop with the “I am too busy, too tired, too exhausted, too sad, too (you get the picture)
-There is never a more perfect time than NOW.
-Find a mantra that acknowledges where you are, right here, right now. And that is good enough. (Example: I choose ME. I am. I am enough. I am supported.)
Since I am all about “walking the talk” I couldn’t resist heading out to the shipping office to practice #2.
I’d love to hear below what self-care tips you use to soothe your Tough Tammy below.