Feel it so you can heal it!

Today, I want to speak to my alter ego that’s been crowding my space. I call her Tough Tammy. Tough Tammy is type A and a go-getter. She is all about making it happen. Especially when she is grieving, she likes to keep busy. It helps her keep the lid on her emotions. I wrote this love note to her, and the bit of Tough Tammy that may be in each of us.

Hello beautiful,
You are so kind, loving, caring.
You hear this from others.
But sometimes you have a hard time drinking it in.

You put others before you, giving, validating.
You intellectually know your worthiness, your power.
But when it comes to affairs of the heart, you sometimes put yourself in the back of the line.

Who dimmed your light?
Stop submerging yourself in the bustle of work, life and things.

Outwardly, you look fine.
Inside, there are judgments, unresolved hurts, perhaps even anger.
Waiting to be unearthed.

How much time has to pass before you finally get to live life for YOU?
It’s time to step to the front of the line.
What does stepping in front of the line means for Tough Tammy?

Self-care. Putting herself first.
Not bypassing her emotions.
When she FEELS IT, she can HEAL IT.
It means stop doing for others and put the focus back on herself. Below are some self-care tips I wrote for her. 

10 practical self-care tips on FEEL IT SO YOU CAN HEAL IT!

-Acknowledge any and all feelings that may be present; the anger, sadness, pain.
-Give yourself permission to express it (Some creative ways: throw eggs against a wall outside, then hose it off. Create a safe space outside, break some plates. Yell. Scream. Jump up and down.)
-Tell the truth. Chances are, there is some negative thoughts running around. Give it room to move through. Journal. Cry. Yell. Write it all down and get it all out.
-Stop the to-do list. Do only absolutely what is necessary, then insert something nurturing and fun if you are up to it.
-Leave the dishes in the sink.  Don’t get caught up in mindless busywork like laundry or deleting junk e-mails.
-Stay present to WHAT IT IS you are feeling.
-Weather permitting, get outside into nature. Being with nature is grounding. (when we are grieving, we can feel scattered)
-Stop with the “I am too busy, too tired, too exhausted, too sad, too (you get the picture)
-There is never a more perfect time than NOW.
-Find a mantra that acknowledges where you are, right here, right now. And that is good enough. (Example: I choose ME. I am. I am enough. I am supported.)

Since I am all about “walking the talk” I couldn’t resist heading out to the shipping office to practice #2.


I’d love to hear below what self-care tips you use to soothe your Tough Tammy below.

15 thoughts on “Feel it so you can heal it!”

  1. These are great reminders Claire – last week, I talked down my Shanaynay by doing instant in the moment journaling of all things good, beautiful, and abundant in my life. For example, I’d carry my journal with me everywhere, and as soon as I felt that anxiety or self-doubt or ego noise try to take over, I’d look up and around me and just write down all the amazing things. No surprise most of those things are in nature – so my second tip would be to immerse yourself in nature! Take more walks than you think possible in a day and leave the phone at home!

    • I love it, your Shanaynay! Instant journaling is a great idea, –oooo! maybe I will have to go get a pocket journal to keep with me, and love the parts about nature. That is on my list to do today too. xoxoxo

  2. I totally agree with acknowledging your feelings first then moving to gratitude. Even when things are rough, there’s a ton to be grateful for.

  3. This is great and so so helpful. I used to have a really hard time (still do to some extent) with noticing what feelings I am feeling. I used to really just push them away and feel nothing instead. Numb. I felt that a lot throughout the years, not sure when or how it started but it did. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I realized there is more to life, that it’s okay to cry (even though I have a VERY hard time actually crying). It’s all about acceptance and respect.

    Feel it. Heal it.
    Great mantra too 😉

    • Sometimes, it could be how behaviors were modeled, or what we were expected to be growing up, how we saw others behaving. So beautiful that you have that awareness now, and continue to allow it to unfold!

  4. I love this. I have been learning to properly sit with and experience my emotions lately, as I was resisting so much and as we all know – what we resist, persists.
    When I need to release emotions I try a few things; powerwalking, stomping my feet, really screaming loudly, but the most helpful is doing energetic clearing work with a practitioner. So I go to kinesiology, or alignment sessions. They get the bugs out in a way that I can’t on my own!

  5. I love this Claire – it is a much needed reminder to be less critical towards myself and just let let myself feel everything vs pushing it to the side.. – I am definitely ready to step to the front of the line and start some self-care rituals!

  6. I love it, throw eggs lol. I need to take your advice and let my emotions out every now and then. I also don’t often give myself a break. I’m actually feeling overwhelmed right now, so I think I will take tomorrow off just to rest and recuperate. My tasks will still be there Friday.

    • So awesome you are taking a day off to re-charge, replenish, and take care of YOU. Maybe there is even some journaling to allow for the emotions to come out 🙂

  7. Lovely blog post and I love the overall message ‘ You’ve got to feel it to heal it.’ I totally agree, it’s so important to acknowledge all of our emotions, including the negative ones, and to give ourselves permission to fully feel them. So often we want to surpress them or push them away, or we want to jump straight to swapping it for a positive emotion. But our feelings are our teachers and always have an important message for us if we are willing to hear it. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thanks Julie for visiting. Yes, our feelings are great teachers, and when we stop labeling some as “bad” or “good” we can perhaps sit longer with it.


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