Expand grief and hope beyond today

The nation grieves this week. It is not how the world was supposed to be. 27 lost. Children.  Teachers. There has been numerous blog posts, FB, news, media coverage, vigils about Newtown.  The universal dis comfort, dis ease we are feeling as a country, president Obama containing his emotions during his speech, broken hearts across the nation are being felt .  Someone said to me, it’s as if 9/11 happened all over again. No adequate words can fully describe how our faith have been shaken, our hearts broken. There has been numerous talks about gun control and the need for expanded mental health services.  People collecting boxes of teddy bears on the news last night for Sandy Hook Elementary children.

We are grieving as a nation today. But a really important time is to circle back with these family 6 months from now, 1 year from now, when they will need our support just as much as they do today. When Newtown will no longer be headlining newspapers across the nation. Those grieving will need us to comfort, validate, acknowledge their loss. Would the world feel a little lighter if we could all just talk about the heaviness in our hearts ALL the times we feel sadness? What to do when we come across other tragedies equally devastating ?

Suicide, mental illness, adultery, miscarriage, pet loss, the list of disenfranchised grief is LONG.

I did a short interview with Alana Sheeren this morning on grief and loss. She’s an amazing soul that helps souls heal from their grief. She left me with a question to ponder this morning and it inspires this post. (Thanks Alana!)

If I had a magic wand, what is the one wish I could make ? Poof! It isn’t a million dollars and a cure for cancer.

It is to change the way we view grief and loss. It is my universal wish to lift the stigma around death and dying/grief and loss.

It is for the public to view death as natural as birth. We are a culture that doesn’t know how to talk about grief. We navigate AROUND it vs. through it.

Ladies and gentlemen, we need to keep this dialogue going.

This is one short week before Christmas. Hanukkah ended last weekend. In the spirit of the holiday, what can you do at a personal level to make a difference?

Here’s my thoughts in a vlog.  



And below are ways you can help expand the collective pool of grief and loss so that it ripples out into a new normal.

So perhaps 3 months from now, 6 months, 1 year from now, people will be able to talk about suicide, mental illness, adultery, miscarriage, pet loss more openly.

Help me remove the stigma around the undertows of grief.

Expand the conversation:
-Ask someone you know what Newtown brings up for them in their own life.
-Invite them to share about any grief/loss they may have experienced in the past.
-Ask yourself if you have grief you’ve been afraid to look at, to share.
-Ask yourself if there is someone, something you need to forgive.
-What can you do to embrace the pain?
-Ask someone what was the hardest part about this tragedy for them.
-Share with someone how Newtown tragedy has affected you. Any fears you may have.
-Share with someone any loss you have experienced but haven’t been able to talk about.
-Volunteer, perform random acts of kindness for someone.
-Talk to someone about death or taboo grief topics everyday for the next week.

Bring quality tissues with you. Crying is a healthy way to release emotions.

For the next week, I will talk to someone I don’t know about grief and loss. What it means to me. I will write, call, voice unresolved grief I’ve carried so that it can be healed for the very last time. I invite you to join me and get the word out.

This is my last post until new years. Thank you so much for being a part of my life in 2012. I am grateful you take time out to be with me weekly. Would love to hear any thoughts or comments below.



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