But what if I am not grateful?

Sometimes in our deepest moments of loss, it can be difficult to find the gift hidden in our grief. I can relate on so many levels. If you were to ask me what hidden gems lie beneath my mother’s death five April’s ago, I would have told you in a nice way, what you could do with that information, tee hee.

Little did I know then my mother’s suicide would be the catalyst for re-directing my calling to helping others through grief. In past years, I’ve been so fortunate to met others who’ve been hit sideways with babyloss, suicide, death of a parent, spouse.  I know, weird that I said fortunate right? But it’s true. I have seen them rise from their darkness and become something larger than themselves. It’s been a blessing to meet and learn from these individuals their pearls of wisdom, the gifts they have been left behind. It’s been a gift to be of service to others grieving as well. I have learnt from everyone I’ve met.

Yes, there—I’ve said it. GIFT. Not the kind you buy on black Friday or cyber Monday…but the kind found in the road less travelled journeying through grief.

YES.  Period. Gratitude doesn’t cost a penny, and yet—when we practice it, helps the dark clouds to part. It is an instant mood lifter of sorts. Below are my top tens this year—and it’s crazy to see how it is all connected.

10 things I am so grateful for this Thanksgiving
1. overcoming stage 4 cancer taught me resilience
2. and being grateful of for being healthy
3. losing my beloved dog Sophie began my journey to entrepreneurship with creating Luxepets and then pet loss coaching
4. resilience taught me to have trust in spirit even when things got tough—like infertility from the cancer
5. overcoming infertility naturally to becoming a mother to Kayman took a leap of faith and trusting my intuition
6. losing Sophie and becoming an entrepreneur allows me now the time to be with Kayman
5. my mother’s suicide became the catalyst for my grief work and completing my masters at USM
6. all of my multiple losses helps me to be empathetic with those who are grieving
7. trusting and knowing I was going to be a mother brought me to Kayman
8. working through all of my grief and keeping my heart open at the same time brought me to my husband Michael
9. I am so grateful for my family, friends and the community that keeps me spiritually buoyant
10. and last but not least, I am grateful all the above allows me to be a mirror, a container to help others process their losses to they can shine their light again.

If your heart is feeling heavy this Thanksgiving, see if you can reflect on one thing the person, pet or thing you’ve lost and see what underlying emotions might be present.  A lesson, a gift, a nugget, a thought, a nudge perhaps—to make that change, take that first step towards a dream, or a road less travelled. And if there’s nothing there, that’s okay too. Be gentle with yourself.

Oh, there will be moments I miss my Kayman come this Thursday as she will be at her dad’s and oh yes, I will want a pity party…but I guarantee, it won’t last as long as years past.

My heart to you and yours this Thanksgiving holiday.  Thank you for reading.  If you would like to share what you are grateful for this year below, it would make my heart sing!

With mucho gratitude,


2 thoughts on “But what if I am not grateful?”

  1. Claire, I’m a big fan of EFT to quickly move us through our emotions by allowing us to “tap” into the body (pun intended) – thanks for sharing this quick and easy script and demo!

    Have an AMAZING Thanksgiving!


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