Remember that story about the oxygen mask and how important it is to make sure you have enough oxygen first before you can help others? It is the same when we are experiencing a challenging situation in life. When we are going through a challenging time, we often look to ourselves to pull us out of the funk we are in. What if we don’t have all of the resources to breathe to get to that mask? Then perhaps it is time ask for help. Ask yourself, who are you cheering on throughout your day when you are full of zip? When you are down, who’s there to cheer you on? Asking for help is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Often, we don’t create a team of support until we find ourselves down that rabbit hole. Today’s vlog talks about strategies on helping you create your own support team during a challenging time. Perhaps you can do that BEFORE stressful times occur:) Sign up for our newsletter if you would like to receive more tips on helping you return to happy.
I was going to do a post mother’s day blog dedicated to my mother. Then this morning, during meditation, a different way to honor her appeared.
Imagine thought bubbles appearing above the heads of two women sharing about their mother’s day experience.
First women: (With arms up in delight) My day was full of unexpected love and surprises!
Second women: (With steam rising from her head) Where was my breakfast in bed? My husband was supposed to take the wee ones out so I could rest but as usual, he failed. What a day! I ended up making dinner again, because he can’t cook to save his life…same every year. Do I have to spell everything out?
WHAT if I told you both descriptions could have been from the SAME person, but different perspectives. Consider this scenario: It’s Mother’s Day and she rises from her bed an hour later than usual to noise in the kitchen. When she walked into the kitchen, it was a mess and her little ones were making breakfast. There was juice spilled, dogs running around and something burning on the stove. (She could have gotten upset at the mess or pretended she didn’t see and crawled back for another snooze) Her husband was nowhere to be found. (It turns out he was in the garage, wrapping her present). After breakfast, he asked what she wanted to do on her special day, and she said “I don’t know”. (She could have spoken up if she wanted time for herself) They ended up all going down for a walk to the park with the dogs. See how this day could have on differently, depending on whose point of view it was?
Big love to my mom in her spirit world and bless her soul, but unfortunately, her upbringing had her cup more half empty than full. She did her best, until one day and she fell into the darkness and was not able to pull herself out. I wish I had the tools then that I knew now to help her. So here I am tonight, to pay it forward in my own way:)
There’s a saying there are 2 sides to every story…could it be your suffering side have more to say sometimes? Here are some easy ways to return to happy.
Remember the last time someone did something that unnerved you. It struck a chord and you picked up the phone to call a friend and repeated the story. You talk with someone else about it later on the same day, replaying the incident to make some sense, or to gain some perspective on the situation, to make sure you were part of any wrongdoing. By the time you get to bed that night, you have been consumed with the story and am exhausted.
Here are 5 reasons to stop suffering and return to happy:
It eats up your day—every time we re-play that scene in our head, re-tell it to another person, tell ourselves how unfair it is, we’ve let it consume our time when we could be doing something more positive with our day.
We end up taking it personally—when we begin to dissect what happened, the interpretation of being “wronged” begins to take shape. We tell ourselves not to take it personally, but do. We end up deeper in our story, feeling hurt, and the loss.
Holding a grudge keeps makes us exhausted at the end of the day, depleting our body of energy that we could have spent in more peace, more joy.
A story begins to take shape, as we give our power over to the person, situation or event that is hurting us. We forfeit taking any responsibility and give control to that person or situation. It’s her fault, if she wasn’t this way, I would be different. Our relationship would be better. It’s so unfair. We REACT vs. being in control.
We end up believing that suffering story—and that good things happen to others, not us.
Five ways to return to happy:
Think your way back to happy. Send the person that is triggering you loving, kind thoughts everyday, in small doses, even if you are not able to forgive them yet.
When they make a comment about you, try and not take it personally.
Replay your trigger story with another point of view, where you see it from a positive point of view.
Think about what life would be like if you did not let that person, place or thing control you.
How would your life be different?
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We’ve been missing Casey lately. It’s been almost 9 months since she passed away. We spent a lot of time preparing Kayman, our four year old for the transition. We spent time reading books, talking, having her take part in the caring of Casey towards the end. When we gave Casey her Sub Q injections, we explained how it helped flush out her kidneys and how hers were no longer working. The last day before the vet visit, we set time aside for a family good-bye, complete with walks, talks, and hugs for her other four legged “sister” Lulu. We talked about death in simple terms. We did not skirt around the topic. There was no talk of the dog “going away” or “going to the farm”.
A Final Walk With Casey
Kayman and Casey Saying Goodbye
Since then, we’ve drawn pictures of the family, now with Casey up in the clouds looking down from rainbow bridge.
Family Chalk Album with Casey in the skies looking down
We have also been telling stories about Casey. Our memories of her, favorite things she liked to do, treats, etc. This has been a very healthy way for her to process her feelings and emotions. It is also a great way to reinforce the physicality of death, what it means for humans and animals. Even as Kayman misses Casey on certain days, she realizes that Casey will remain in our hearts.
If you find yourself having to tell a wee one about a loved one or a pet who is transitioning, honesty and simple words go along way. This morning, we talked about Casey as she got ready for school. Here’s what she had to share, even in missing, we have LOVE. Please feel free to share with parents who might have to tell their wee ones about loss, or sign up for our newsletter for more insights delivered to your inbox.
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